The Story of a Girl

(getting back into the creative writing; here's a little foray)

Very few know her story
in fact, she likes to hide it from herself
tears, ache, and emptiness fill her heart
and she's trying so hard just to push everyone away
for fear of hurt
but in the process losing any hope of real love

there was a time when certain things seemed to satisfy
the succulent food, the aged wine
the beautiful clothes and fancy vacations
designers, trends, parties, celebrity boyfriends

once upon a time it seemed she could have it all
the problem was that all was never enough
and with each passing moment, the delight in those things grew less and less
like an opened bottle of wine that has sat out for a few days too long
the taste of each grew sour in her mouth
as they never seemed to quench the thirst deep within her heart
she grew sadder, more desperate, and ever more confused

after a late late night out on the town
and a few too many drinks
she rolled over the next morning
sunlight streaming in through the slits of her shades
touched her side, rubbed her eyes
and felt a deep, cutting pain in her chest
realizing she was completely, utterly
alone
alone and oh so lonely
longing for something to complete her
and realizing she had driven away everyone she ever cared about
and everyone that she ever loved
because they weren't enough for her

in seeking to find her significance in everything she could lay her hands upon
she lost the very things that made her unique, beautiful, and desirable
and the very people who loved her genuinely
replacing them with people who only cared for the external
in seeking to attain the unattainable she lost it all
reaching for perfection, material satisfaction, and a feeling of worthiness
she lost her very soul

it started with a slight hardening of the heart
a caving to one simple decision to disobey the direction her heart was leading
that led to many others
the decisions eventually began spiralling out of control to the point where a sense of right and wrong was eventually lost
sitting up late at night watching trash on television just for some sense of thrill, but finding none
she falls on her knees crying at the mess before her

and now she lies on the ground wondering if it is possible to regain the sense of wonder, excitement, joy
that can come only from simple pleasures
from a visit to the mountains, from tea out with her mother, from holding someone's hand
from realizing that it's more than just okay not to have the perfect job, the perfect clothes, the perfect boyfriend
from coming to a deeper understanding of the fact that mustering an independent, courageous identity just isn't going to work

she opens her hands to the heavens
and cries out for relief
tears streaming down her face
heart burning from the searing pain
she longs for something more

Her story is known
Perhaps more than she will ever know