What Does It Mean to be Human?

I spent Sunday afternoon hanging out with a new friend near U Street. He and I share a mutual interest in urban planning, although it will likely result in different outpourings. We chatted about our small town backgrounds and how we both came to DC and got baptized into the world of the uber-power elites. Both of us were transported from worlds where community, place, and family played significantly into our daily lives, to a city focused upon power, influence, and mission statements.

In the midst of that conversation, and a few others i've been having recently, i've come to a deeper sense of who I am and what I want out of life.

DC is a funny place, and in all seriousness it's hard to find people who are willing to step back and appreciate you apart from what you "have to offer" in terms of connections, power talk, and busyness. Despite all that it affords in some regards, i've grown tired of DC...tired of the empty promises, tired of the perpetual meetings, tired of the transience. There are genuine people here, but everyone is so BUSY! And so many seem out to grasp what they can get out of this place, whether for themselves, their constituents, or their causes. All often, mind you, in the name of their missions... But at the end of the day, I have to scratch my head and say, is this healthy?

Tomorrow, I am headed to Charlottesville, VA to get a feel for the community and consider the possibility of a transition. Charlottesville is a bit smaller of a town, and has more of a local feel, while still also incorporating global dialogues (thanks to the University setting). From what I gather, it's an artsy place, and a very outdoorsy place. Here in DC, I find myself in the minority as someone who would rather spend their weekend hiking, biking, or swimming, than cooped up in a restaurant or at home watching tv. I also find myself in the minority as a lover of art, music, and design. Furthermore, I find myself in the minority regarding my love of community...These things are all a big deal.

My friend and I also had a discussion about how so many of our friends "back home" were married, and possibly already had kids. We both remarked that we weren't quite there yet in terms of wanting those things (well atleast not the kids). But, the very fact that city life breeds singleness is an interesting phenomena to note, and it's interesting to see what city life does to people. It encourages us to see ourselves more as individuals, and less as "family units;" while this may not be a bad thing, it's also a stark reality. In cities like DC, we're so quick to dismiss our friends back in small town USA who are content to work at the local school and pop out babies, but there's something about that kind of life that's really good that we as city residents so often miss-a rootedness in community, place, and family. When we're honest with ourselves, cities are often very fractured communities, lacking the tight knit sociological structure necessary for-in all candor-human flourishing. I've caught a shift in priorities even in my own thinking. I go on dates and wonder, not how I can enjoy the presence of the person I'm with, but how "up to speed" my counterpart is on topics of intellectual interest to me, or whether he has a job that suggests that he is "going places." Instead of looking closely for the kind of man who can sustain a marriage, and truly foster a vibrant, warm, home environment, I look for the guy who can provide the most intellectual thrills and take me on a lifetime adventure. And so, here in the city of blinding lights, I invariably fall for the guys who are probably the worst for me.

Somewhere along the way, we've decided that cultivating a home and family just isn't adventurous enough for us-we want world travels, exotic foods, big careers. Now, don't get me wrong, I fall as much into this camp as all the rest. When i'm honest, i'd prefer to have my cake and eat it too, finding the world traveler with just the right mix of small town earthy charm. But what if you can't have both? What if it's not healthy to have both? Furthermore, can we have city life and vibrant community? I think so. I have to believe so, but i'm not so sure anymore that DC is the best place to start looking for it.

What does it mean to be human? What impact does place/community have upon the way we choose to live our lives? What impact does our location have upon the things that we value/esteem? These are questions that i've been pondering significantly over the last several months.

I'd like to share more soon, and probably will. But for the meantime, I leave you with a quote from an author whose work i've been chewing on for the past year while sorting through these questions...

"A community, unlike a public, has to do first of all with belonging; it is a group of people who belong to one another and to their place." (Wendell Berry, Sex Economy Freedom and Community, 147-148)