Holiday Thoughts

What has struck me most this holiday season?

This year it has been the crucifixion. For me, it is important to grasp the realness-the flesh and bloodness-of Jesus' death; it reminds me of my humanity and gives me a better perspective on what is true. Pain is a reality and I don't worship a God who is distant from hurt and hardship. This is so important for me to remember as someone who lives in a broken, often nonsensical world. Why do people hurt, why sadness, why tears-even on Christmas? The memories of loved ones passed, missing the innocent days of our youth, longing for friends and family not present. It's okay to feel saddened by these things...(and it feels good to say this) The crucifixion reminds me that my own hurts are something that Jesus can relate to, and about which he can honestly approach God on my behalf. He knows what it is to hurt, and to long for things not seen, and to yearn for that final rest... He knows it better than I, as one who died and overcame and one who never gave up in the midst of great suffering.

It all started with a visit to the National Gallery with my friend Erin. We went in early December to see an Ansel Adams exhibit, which turned out to be less than impressive. However, after perusing the Adams exhibit, we ventured into a section with several religious icons, one which I remember distinctly: a huge tapestry depicting Jesus on the cross, with his criminal companions at either side. I remember the tapestry for its intricate beauty, and the power of the message it conveyed. I don't have a thorough description, just the reality that hit me as Erin and I stared silently at that woven masterpiece: Jesus' death was real, very real, and very painful. Death is real, and a hard harsh reality that we often want to push into a corner here in America, housing our elderly in "homes" and sick in hospitals. We mask death and pain with temporary bandages like hair dye, "slimming" undergarments, and tooth whiteners. What the broken, ugly, and fallen mean for the world as a whole often escape us in America where reality is often pushed under a rug until its impossible to ignore. That image of Jesus on the cross became for me an icon that day, an image that pointed to something vastly beyond itself, one that spoke to the hidden realites and the more obvious ones I sometimes want to forget. When we stare reality squarely in the face, face the suffering in the throes of death, suffer ourselves, or catch glimpses of our fallen states, we know that something is wrong. We are sick and we need a cure. Jesus came to be that cure, and nothing less, taking on death, putting on flesh and blood for the sake of his children. And that's not all, he came to give us an inheritance in his kingdom, not the earthly kingdom that we taste and see now...but a new heaven and earth still to come. One of my favorite passages says "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." (1 Cor. 2:9) The catch, which I love, comes in verse 10, where it says "but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." Did you catch that? Read it again. There's no mistake that eyes and ears are featured again and again in the same context as the Spirit.

I could tie up the loose ends here, but i'd rather leave them undone and let the reader parse things out for him/herself.

Current listen: Jon Foreman "The Cure for the Pain"; also "Christmas Moon" by Brooke Waggoner