What is love? Love isn't a cheap word, as Jamie founder of TWLOHA would tell you face to face. He doesn't want the fact that they use the word on shirts and gear to be cheap, he wants it to be real. And when he's talking about love, it's the real deal. If there is one thing that women in this world need, and long for, it is to know that they are loved...to know that someone cares. I'm pretty sure the same goes for men, too.
As we were hanging out at a restaurant last night, a Matt Nathanson song came on and I told Byron (one of the TWOLHA guys) that I didn't like it...and that I don't like any what I would call "cheap pop music." Instead of esteeming my music snobbery, Byron told me that I needed to fall in love. "You don't like it," he said, because you don't understand it. "You need to fall in love." I don't necessarily agree that i'm going to start loving pop music suddenly when I fall in love, but I do agree with the message that he was conveying: love changes things. When we are loved, truly, fully, we change. When we love, truly, fully, others change. Love is a big deal, both romantic and non-romantic love.
Byron, Dustin, Jamie, and even Jimmy, "the intern" reminded me that i'm a person worth caring about...and that I must esteem others as people worth caring about too. People matter, very deeply, and when we don't take the time to esteem the very fact that they exist, that's a big deal. The story goes on, and takes many turns, but let it suffice to say that since meeting these guys their message has cut to the heart. Their message is this: your story matters, you are loved, and (what is really so important) I want to come alongside you in life and help you carry your burdens. What does it mean to love others? It means loving them no matter what, it means laying your life down for them, it means helping them through the struggles instead of saying "you're too messed up for me to deal with." Loving others means stepping into the darkness of others' hearts and telling them that there is hope, telling them that someone cares, telling them you want to help.
One of the guys, Dustin, and I were talking about his kids, and he was telling me how having a kid is the weirdest thing ever-one day it's just you and your spouse, then the next you have a kid-, but also the best reminder of God's love, because he would die for either of his girls in a second, no questions asked. And God's love is like that; he died for us because we are his children, and because he cares for us so deeply. We didn't do anything to deserve it, and never can. This kind of love isn't cheap, and often it's hard to put into words, but when it's there you know it. When such love is in the room, you feel more comfortable to be yourself, more at home, free to rest...it is good. This is the kind of love often called "agape," it is a love that cares regardless of circumstance or consequence. I commend these men for the message they are sharing and encourage others to check out their work. Additionally, I am reminded that loving others shouldn't be a choice, it should be a given. When we realize this, the way that we engage the world changes, so dramatically, and in the end we will feel more loved in return, as we live out what real love looks like.
If you want some good resources on this subject, there are many out there. Right now I recommend the Tim Keller sermon on "Covenant Relationships." I listened to it a little over a week ago, and it's really good. I also highly recommend C.S. Lewis' "The Four Loves," specifically the section on Agape.
Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. -C.S. Lewis
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